National Proposal Day

 Friday is National Proposal Day, so if you have been thinking of popping the question, there's your day. With talk of nuptials emerging around my camp this week, the idea came to the forefront of my mind.  Though the idea of a proposal is great, it brings about a lot of important questions in a relationship.

First off, who is paying for what?  Is one person shouldering the entire load, or will it be split between the couple, various family members, friends?  What's a realistic budget to expect to stay within, and when you find something that you just cannot live without, is there a way to make payments to stay under budget?

Even on payment plans, people must keep track of their total expenditures.  That's money in, and money going out, as they have to balance, and not get too far in the red.  Payment plans add up in the monthly money going out, as do expenses like groceries, so make sure you have enough money for bills and food.

It's very easy to get caught up in the excitement of the moment.  When talk started earlier this week, my knee jerk reaction was to start spending money, and it's all too easy to fall down a wormhole online.  Start with something like looking for rings, then you see contests, inspiration; oh, that would be so cute...

Next thing you know, you're looking at your cart total like, how did that get into the thousands so quick?  Glancing at the items, realize very few are "essential."  That's when you need to keep budget in mind.

Is it a need or a want?  Do you need an expensive diamond?  Or just want that bling to show off?

When it comes to weddings, some might say that rings, the dress and the cake are essentials, as they are part of the ceremony, things that people like to take pictures of, so people tend to splurge there more.  Flowers is where that grey area comes in, as they have been part of the tradition, but there's also the green movement to not kill the plants, opting for potted plants, fake floral, or no floral decor.  One thing I thought was really cool was some of the alternative bouquets, using things like blinged out decorative pins, gemstone flowers, feathers, seashells, and just about anything to get creative with.

What traditional things do you want in your ceremony?  I keep telling my brother that I want him to hoist me up in a chair like they do, so he better start working out to get ready for that.  The other thing I keep threatening people with is the song where the wedding party has to dance just might be a polka.

Are you going to toss the garter and bouquet?  Are you going to elope as just the two of you?  Or would you rather have that massive shindig with at least a dozen in the wedding party all for show?

The thing I keep coming back to is the location.  While I thought it might be cool to get married under a waterfall, he likes the idea of looking at all the pretty lights out in Las Vegas.  Have to pick a place.

Should it be an international destination wedding?  If so, how many guests would actually show?  Does it really matter if it's less than a dozen people there if we can do the honeymoon and wedding together?

Beach weddings always seem so romantic, but what happens if it storms?  Where's the backup plan?  In planning, you almost want to have a backup for the backup, just in case of worst-case scenario.

The dress is another fun experience I had, as I thought I was set, having purchased this beautiful gown that was exactly as I had been looking for.  Of course, when you want to look your best, you try to tighten up some of those loose spots.  This morning, I tried the dress on, zipped it, and it fell right off.

Looks like I will either be altering that or getting a new one completely.  So many people I know tried to get in shape for their wedding, so this type of thing happens more often than you'd think.  It's like Murphy's Law strikes again, as you want to look your best for your partner, but it still costs money.

Prepare for the unexpected, like what if one of you gets sick?  What if you break up before the big day?  Is any of that stuff returnable, or do you lose your entire deposit, and did you read the fine print?

There's no way to be prepared for everything, as they don't call it the unexpected when you see it coming.  Accidents are not intentional.  Things happen that we do not always foresee or plan for.

What if someone gets pregnant besides the bride?  I had an ex that got someone else knocked up while he was still with me, and he never bothered to tell me 'til the kid was like three.  Stuff can happen.

Happy thoughts though, and don't get caught up on the what-ifs.  At the same time, keep your eyes open, as we don't want to have blinders on and not notice what's happening around us.  Life gets tricky.

Especially if there are kids involved, such as if one person has a child, and the other does not.  That's a huge lifestyle adjustment.  All aspects need to be considered when combining households and living.

Even pets can get jealous.  A union of two people has a ripple effect on others.  So, be mindful.

Make a list.  Check it thrice.  Plan, prepare, but be flexible.

For more by Marisa, visit www.outlandishwriter.com, www.lulu.com/spotlight/thorisaz, www.amazon.com/author/marisawilliams, and www.partylikepirates.com